you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
