I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
