girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my poor anus
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
