I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
