one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
