we're blogging at a bar
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can I color on your dick again?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
