Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
