Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
