new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
