So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
