I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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