I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
