This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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