A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
