This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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