So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
