When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
