Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
