So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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