i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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