Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
