you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
