omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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