What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
