Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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