last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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