I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
