A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
