Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
