But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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