By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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