You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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