Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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