the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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