Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
