So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
