I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
