I cockslap morals
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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