New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
