my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
