Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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