So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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