he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
