The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i think i just lost a toe
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
