was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
