bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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