why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
