Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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