haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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