hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
