I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
