dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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